Be careful to only include positive shared interests. You are not going to get a response if you start off a message by saying for example:.
Now you you want to tell an interesting story tied to one of the interests you just mentioned. If one of your shared passions is scuba diving you could say:.
Fourteen days of diving in crystal clear waters having adventures in the local countryside. This serves dual purposes.
In the first sentence you are showing that you are an interesting guy that is fun to be around. In the second you are painting the picture of a life that she would like to be a part of. Now that you have demonstrated why you are messaging her you can briefly mention a few of your strongest characteristics to really get her hooked. This may sound a little like bragging and it is but it is done in a confident way that is more matter-of-fact than arrogant.
If you can demonstrate confidence early when messaging an older women you will have better results. This is where you give a little and take a little. In this example it was from a woman who said she was great at ping pong:. It is very easy to take a message the wrong way, even one that follows a first message online dating formula.
You need to find the right balance and it can take a little practice before you find it. This is where you seal it. You want her to get motivated to actually send you a message back.
My favorite line was:. This is a great way to connect with her and demonstrate that messaging you is in her best interest.
It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. For instance if you find you both love dogs, you could send a message like this:. My favorite line was:. Although I have received some very interesting responses to my profile. I just got back from a life changing two week scuba retreat in Belize. I actually looked it up just to be sure.
She is on that site to meet someone great and that just might be you. Now that you have given her every reason to reply you tell her exactly what you want her to do. If you can get her to take the big step of messaging you back your odds have already increased tremendously.
I knew that would get your attention! I read through your profile and we seem to share a love of adventure, the feel of sand in our toes, and the taste of an authentic french croissant. I just got back from a life changing two week scuba retreat in Belize. I think we would have a lot of fun together even if you are going to be mopey the whole night after I kick your butt in ping pong. She will be more likely to respond if you ask her about something mentioned in her profile, as opposed to a random question you want answered.
Are you currently training for another run? How many kids do you want? How many sexual partners have you had? There absolutely is that one girl that is an egotistical maniac that loves hearing stuff like that from strangers on the internet. But for the most part, to most women on dating websites, it comes off as corny, creepy and repetitive. It should be short, concise and have questions, so she can have the opportunity to respond.
But believe it or not I actually re-read my messages many times, checking for spelling and grammatical errors. Here are a few screen shots of a few of the last messages I sent out.
Also, I assume what I write actually matters. I assume that I should actually be TRYING to write a quality message because the content of the message is actually going to be read and weighed in the decision process of whether or not she will be responding back to me. Be honest, does it fucking matter?
I wonder how many good, lasting relationships started with a copy and pasted message he sent to 15 other women that same night. You were just a number in his numbers game, he just happened to be attractive. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again.
It can be counter-productive ultimately. Easy Systems For https: Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.
Dedicated to your stories and ideas. A website by Thought. I decided to write about this topic for two reasons.