Because what I have tragically found is that Christian singles hit an area of desperation, particularly young women, and they will go: Now practically speaking, this means singles are seeking out people to speak into their lives.
And I think those pieces are a much safer gauge than whether they highlight passages in their Bible and show up to service every week. How do you know if a dating relationship is moving too quickly emotionally, or too quickly toward marriage? If mere physical attraction or some kind of emotive, frilly, this-is-the-one weirdness is driving the speed, then, yes. If the relationship is outpacing knowledge of character, reputation, and knowledge of godliness, then that is way too quick. So we have a staff person here who met and married her husband in a matter of months.
She had watched him do ministry at The Village. She knew his reputation. Rather there was knowledge of his faithfulness to God, his desire to serve the Lord, and his seriousness about the things of God. I hardly knew they were dating before they were engaged. Has Facebook Ruined Dating? In your experience, in what ways has technology changed the way young people date today?
Do these trends encourage or concern you? If we are talking about a young man and a young woman who are actively dating, who have defined their relationship, and who know they are in a growing and committed relationship with one another, then I think technology creates an avenue to encourage one another and to connect more frequently. If, though, we are saying that technology has changed the game in regards to how single young men and women approach one another, before that relationship is defined, then I have a lot of concern about technology.
And so in that regard, when you have not established what the relationship is, I think it can be hurtful to constantly be involved in the technological realm, rather than the face-to-face realm. Any advice for inviting others into a relationship to that end? I think what we want to do is work really hard in our churches to create a culture of discipleship. In this culture, the norm, the air we breathe, is that older men are serious about seeking out younger men to train them, not just train them in the Bible, but really train them in what it looks like to apply the Scriptures to their lives.
What does it look like to serve, love, and encourage your wife? What does it look like to romance her? What does it look like to be a man of God in relation to your wife? Personally, I try to do this by having single men into our home.
Lauren will almost always cook the meal. I will help set the table, and then afterwards that young man gets to help me do the dishes. And that is just my way of going: So this is an intentional, organic, kind of culture of discipleship that I hope is woven into the life of The Village. On top of that, my hope would be that young men would seek out older men. And I have told them before: Can I get in your space? Whatever you normally do, can I just come and join you in that?
The appeal of youthfulness in churches is so heavy and celebrated, and yet I have found, without a good mix of generations, you are going to get lopsided and silly. And the worst possible thing imaginable in my mind is a bunch of year-olds sitting around talking about life. If I can get that year-old single guy with a year-old married man, then I have high hopes for how that year-old will see, understand, and desire marriage. But then on top of that I think what you celebrate and how you celebrate is important.
So we want to celebrate marriages at The Village Church. And I want to celebrate women and men who have given themselves over to make disciples, whether they are married or not. They are still desiring marriage, and desiring a spouse, but they are not sitting on their hands until they get one. A common question from single men: If I am not physically attracted to a godly woman, should I still try to romantically pursue her in order to cultivate those feelings?
If so, for how long, until it becomes unwise or even hurtful? But I do adamantly encourage young single men to pursue godly women for friendships in the hopes that it grows into more.
But he loved hanging out with her. So I just encouraged him to stay in proximity, to grow in his friendship with her, and to hope something would grow from there. As a result, many blogs, books, and blurbs are created to help men defeat sexual temptation. But what about the girls? Many single Christian women have unanswered questions about sexuality. When we think of singles, we think of teens and college kids.
Churches all across the world are filled with singles who are divorced, widowed, or over the age of Sometimes, I feel lost. As the years go by, the feelings, attitudes, and perspectives toward singleness changes. One woman was blunt about the situation: I could be wrong. The expectations of sex, date nights, and romance are way, way too high. Both sexes need help. If you have a deep desire to be married one day you will probably get married.
I ascended him to knit up forasmuch comb till we dating teemed originally. And then they want to know why… Read This. Biblical dating differs significantly from modern dating. In over 10 years of church-going, I can only ever remember hearing one or two sermons on singleness. And it does leave some marks, and it creates some baggage, not only for dating but then into the marriage that will need to be gospel-ed. I had hoped I would when we hired a single pastor, but nope! Make ministry a real and viable option for single people.
The big wedding day, honeymoon, and family that you envision for your life may come. Instead of placing your ultimate hope in a spouse, place your ultimate hope in the perfect life, death, and resurrection of our Savior. My intention is not to just reveal a problem, but create a solution.
So back to the second question: Watch your social media posts. Admittedly, this is probably more to fault the singles over the married couples, but constant posts about your spouse is annoying and can create envy. Watch your words closely and listen. Introducing a godly guy to a godly gal is fine, but constantly trying to hook singles up in your church is exasperating.
Topic Dating & Singleness Pastor John counsels a dating couple who failed sexually. Sermon. Single in Christ: A Name Better Than Sons and Daughters. Topic Dating & Singleness. Sort Newest Singleness. Desiring God National Sermon. Single in Christ: A Name Better Than Sons and Daughters.
Most singles girls and guys said that they hate this. Intentionally purse friendships with singles. Married people, single Christians want to hang out with you. Have singles over for dinner, for breakfast, for coffee and chat about singleness, dating, marriage and life.
Provide gospel-centered content on singleness. Churches can help by facilitating an atmosphere of intentional relationships. That is, set things up to where married folks hang out with single folks more often. Answer the questions singles are asking. Churches can help by answering those questions. Foster the talent of talented single Christians.
We must adhere to the biblical guidelines of church leadership found in 1 Tim.
What singles need, more than anything, is a deeply fulfilling relationship with Jesus. He is the founder and writer behind this blog, a site that was ranked as one of Tim Challies' top ten individual bloggers of He is married to Denise and they have one child.
I really appreciate you digging into this topic, David! And I especially appreciate that you pointed out a spouse is not your ultimate hope!